When I first read this article, it was
as if I had suddenly found a gold nugget right in my own
backyard. The wisdom and insight herein is deeply profound
and moving. If you cannot relate to it in some measure, I
feel a little sorry for you. If you do relate to the
sentiments expressed, you are indeed a kindred spirit. We
are but pilgrims and there will be no loneliness any more
when we arrive at the gates of Heaven and see our reflection
in the eyes of Yeshua. .....Keygar |
Most of the world's great souls have been lonely. Loneliness seems to be
one price the saint must pay for his saintliness.
In the morning of the world (or should we say, in that strange darkness
that came soon after the dawn of man's creation), that pious soul,
Enoch, walked with God and was not, for God took him; and while it is
not stated in so many words, a fair inference is that Enoch walked a
path quite apart from his contemporaries.
Another lonely man was Noah who, of all the antediluvians, found grace
in the sight of God; and every shred of evidence points to the aloneness
of his life even while surrounded by his people.
Again, Abraham had Sarah and Lot, as well as many servants and herdsmen,
but who can read his story and the apostolic comment upon it without
sensing instantly that he was a man "whose soul was alike a star and
dwelt apart"? As far as we know not one word did God ever speak to him
in the company of men. Face down he communed with his God, and the
innate dignity of the man forbade that he assume this posture in the
presence of others. How sweet and solemn was the scene that night of the
sacrifice when he saw the lamps of fire moving between the pieces of
offering. There, alone with a horror of great darkness upon him, he
heard the voice of God and knew that he was a man marked for divine
favor.
Moses also was a man apart. While yet attached to the court of Pharaoh
he took long walks alone, and during one of these walks while far
removed from the crowds he saw an Egyptian and a Hebrew fighting and
came to the rescue of his countryman. After the resultant break with
Egypt he dwelt in almost complete seclusion in the desert. There, while
he watched his sheep alone, the wonder of the burning bush appeared to
him, and later on the peak of Sinai he crouched alone to gaze in
fascinated awe at the Presence, partly hidden, partly disclosed, within
the cloud and fire.
The prophets of pre-Christian times differed widely from each other, but
one mark they bore in common was their enforced loneliness. They loved
their people and gloried in the religion of the fathers, but their
loyalty to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and their zeal for the
welfare of the nation of Israel drove them away from the crowd and into
long periods of heaviness. "I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and
an alien unto my mother's children," cried one and unwittingly spoke for
all the rest.
Most revealing of all is the sight of that One of whom Moses and all the
prophets did write, treading His lonely way to the cross. His deep
loneliness was unrelieved by the presence of the multitudes.
He died alone in the darkness hidden from the sight of mortal man and no
one saw Him when He arose triumphant and walked out of the tomb, though
many saw Him afterward and bore witness to what they saw. There are some
things too sacred for any eye but God's to look upon. The curiosity, the
clamour, the well-meant but blundering effort to help can only hinder the
waiting soul and make unlikely if not impossible the communication of
the secret message of God to the worshiping heart.
Sometimes we react by a kind of religious reflex and repeat dutifully
the proper words and phrases even though they fail to express our real
feelings and lack the authenticity of personal experience. Right now is
such a time. A certain conventional loyalty may lead some who hear this
unfamiliar truth expressed for the first time to say brightly, "Oh, I am
never lonely. Christ said, `I will never leave you nor forsake you,' and
`Lo, I am with you always.' How can I be lonely when Jesus is with me?"
Now I do not want to reflect on the sincerity of any Christian soul, but
this stock testimony is too neat to be real. It is obviously what the
speaker thinks should be true rather than what he has proved to be true
by the test of experience. This cheerful denial of loneliness proves
only that the speaker has never walked with God without the support and
encouragement afforded him by society. The sense of companionship which
he mistakenly attributes to the presence of Christ may and probably does
arise from the presence of friendly people. Always remember: you cannot
carry a cross in company. Though a man were surrounded by a vast crowd,
his cross is his alone and his carrying of it marks him as a man apart.
Society has turned against him; otherwise he would have no cross. No one
is a friend to the man with a cross. "They all forsook Him, and fled."
The pain of loneliness arises from the constitution of our nature. God
made us for each other. The desire for human companionship is completely
natural and right. The loneliness of the Christian results from his walk
with God in an ungodly world, a walk that must often take him away from
the fellowship of good Christians as well as from that of the
unregenerate world. His God-given instincts cry out for companionship
with others of his kind, others who can understand his longings, his
aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ; and because within
his circle of friends there are so few who share inner experiences, he
is forced to walk alone. The unsatisfied longings of the prophets for
human understanding caused them to cry out in their complaint, and even
our Lord Himself suffered in the same way.
The man who has passed on into the divine Presence in actual inner
experience will not find many who understand him. A certain amount of
social fellowship will of course be his as he mingles with religious
persons in the regular activities of the church, but true spiritual
fellowship will be hard to find. But he should not expect things to be
otherwise. After all he is a stranger and a pilgrim, and the journey he
takes is not on his feet but in his heart. He walks with God in the
garden of his own soul - and who but God can walk there with him? He is
of another spirit from the multitudes that tread the courts of the
Lord's house. He has seen that of which they have only heard, and he
walks among them somewhat as Zacharias walked after his return from the
altar when the people whispered, "He has seen a vision."
The truly spiritual man is indeed something of an
oddity. He lives not for himself but to promote the interests of
Another. He seeks to persuade people to give all to his Lord and asks no
portion or share for himself. He delights not to be honoured but to see
his Saviour glorified in the eyes of men. His joy is to see his Lord
promoted and himself neglected. He finds few who care to talk about that
which is the supreme object of his interest, so he is often silent and
preoccupied in the midst of noisy religious shoptalk. For this he earns
the reputation of being dull and over serious, so he is avoided and the
gulf between him and society widens. He searches for friends upon whose
garments he can detect the smell of myrrh and aloes and cassia out of
the ivory palaces, and finding few or none, he, like Mary of old, keeps
these things in his heart.
It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God. "When my
father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up." His
inability to find human companionship drives him to seek in God what he
can find nowhere else. He learns in inner solitude what he could not
have learned in the crowd - that Christ is All in All, that He is made
unto us wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption, that in
Him we have and possess life's summum bonum.
Two things remain to be said. One, that the lonely man of whom we speak
is not a haughty man, nor is he the holier-than-thou, austere saint so
bitterly satirized in popular literature. He is likely to feel that he
is the least of all men and is sure to blame himself for his very
loneliness. He wants to share his feelings with others and to open his
heart to some like-minded soul who will understand him, but the
spiritual climate around him does not encourage it, so he remains silent
and tells his grief to God alone.
The second thing is that the lonely saint is not the withdrawn man who
hardens himself against human suffering and spends his days
contemplating the heavens. Just the opposite is true. His loneliness
makes him sympathetic to the approach of the broken hearted and the
fallen and the sin-bruised. Because he is detached from the world, he is
all the more able to help it. Meister Eckhart taught his followers that
if they should find themselves in prayer and happen to remember that a
poor widow needed food, they should break off the prayer instantly and
go care for the widow. "God will not suffer you to lose anything by it,"
he told them. "You can take up again in prayer where you left off and
the Lord will make it up to you." This is typical of the great mystics
and masters of the interior life from Paul to the present day.
The weakness of so many modern Christians is that they feel too much at
home in the world. In their effort to achieve restful "adjustment" to
unregenerate society they have lost their pilgrim character and become
an essential part of the very moral order against which they are sent to
protest. The world recognizes them and accepts them for what they are.
And this is the saddest thing that can be said about them. They are not
lonely, but neither are they saints.